I’ve never met anyone who said, “I wish I’d never had grandchildren.” If you’re a grandparent you know that having grandchildren is one of Life’s Greatest Blessings. But, what if your grandkids live far away? How do you handle Grandparenting from a Distance?
For me, I have three grandchildren: two grandsons that live walking distance from my house and a granddaughter who lives in Newfoundland.
Long distance grandparenting is just a fact of life. Most grandparents live an hour or more away from their grandkids. This distance creates challenges for grandchildren and grandparents to bond.
Below, I have several creative ideas to help you grandparent from a distance.
1. Take a Picture of You with Your Grandchildren
This past summer my daughter and her family came home to Texas for my Mom’s funeral. While they were here I made sure my husband and I took a picture of us holding our granddaughter. It was nothing fancy. Just me and my husband smiling while holding our granddaughter in our backyard.
I had the photo printed locally at Walgreens and sent it home with my daughter. Now it sits on my granddaughter’s bedroom dresser. She has a daily reminder of two loving grandparents.
(Totally a side note ~ This photo hangs on the wall of my daughter’s furnished rental home. I’ve been looking for a way to use it for a year. Isn’t it a hoot?)
2. Be Prepared for Online Chats
We try to have a weekly online FaceTime (or Skype) chat with our granddaughter. I try to be a little prepared so I can entertain her with something appropriate for a two year old. In order to do this I keep a basket with toys and books in my home office. That way, I can reach in and pull out a puppet or the occasional balloon. These are highly entertaining to a two year old and together we are creating memories across the distance.
I am now seeing how valuable this really is because recently our granddaughter came prepared to our chat with her own balloon which she wanted to show us.
3. Send Small Gifts
If my granddaughter lived an hour away I might send her small, inexpensive gifts on a regular basis. Something fun like a little Halloween candy or I might make a card with a special love note enclosed. Simple and inexpensive ways to stay connected. However, my granddaughter lives in Canada and that makes it difficult to send her little happies.
Because it is so expensive to mail packages to Newfoundland, I’ve found that Amazon.ca* (Amazon in Canada) is a great way to send books and small items. The exchange rate is currently in my favor so the Canadian Amazon price converts to a lower price and this offsets the additional tax costs. I could splurge and get Canadian Amazon Prime which includes free shipping, however, I am willing to pay the small shipping fee or wait and order $25 to get free shipping (which is really less than $25 because of the exchange rate.)
When I send larger packages through Amazon Canada, I get my daughter to spread out the gifts. That way my granddaughter is getting something from us every week or so.
*Note: Watch out for foreign transaction fees with your credit card. My credit card does not charge these fees; be sure to check before using your card on a foreign transaction.
4. Daily Video
I’ve been thinking of doing this for my granddaughter now that she’s a little older. Just a quick smart phone video from me to her telling her I love her, miss her, and can’t wait to chat. This is ideal for older grandkids who may have their own cell phones, too.
You might share a special thought, something you have planned for the day, or even a bit of family history such as, “Today is your great grandfather’s birthday and he is 89 years old.” Send them a daily phone blessing. Read a Bible scripture. Share a funny story or joke. It doesn’t have to be epic; it just has to be.
To do this regularly I recommend you set up a selfie stick with a tripod (affiliate) and have it ready to go. All you need to do is clamp on your smart phone, make a quick video, and send it in a text.
5. Do a Project Together
If you only see your grandchildren once or twice a year working on a project together would be a great way to bond. You could build up the excitement in online chats leading up to a visit.
Prior to a visit send something that you can make together. In my case, prior to a visit I might send items for a sewing project that my granddaughter and I could do together when I visit. Anything is possible. Think about your grandkid’s interests and then put together a project idea. I promise, it will be an experience they will remember long after you return home.
6. Read Together
Once a week we try to FaceTime (or Skype) with our granddaughter. We usually chat from the computer in our home office. In the corner of the office I keep a basket with books which I rotate regularly. Whenever my two year old granddaughter and I are Skyping, I will pull out one or two of the books to read. She always says, “Again!” It’s becoming a thing we do together regularly and I know she looks forward to it.
As my granddaughter gets older and learns to read, I think we will read the same book and then discuss the book together. This doesn’t have to end with childhood either. Both of my grown daughters share their love of books with their grandmother.
7. Write a Story Together
Writing a story together could be a fun email project for older kids. You write a bit of the story then send it to your grandkids.They write the next part of the story, and so on. Think about how fun it would be just naming characters with your grandkids. It doesn’t have to be a masterpiece, it just has to be a bit of them.
Scanners and smart phone images could be a way to illustrate your masterpiece. And, it could be a great way to share family history by using old family photos as a jumping off point. Think of all the possibilities.
8. Grow a Plant Together
There are a couple of ways to grow plants together. You could plant some easy-to-grow seeds like radishes in a planter or garden at your home then share daily phone calls, texts, or email reports on the gardening project. If you live in similar climates this could be a joint effort across the miles with daily progress reports shared on how each person’s plants are doing.
I have a friend whose father grew watermelons for his two granddaughters. While visiting her parents, my friend’s father planted watermelon seeds in his yard with her girls. He then sent his granddaughters regular watermelon reports. Once the watermelon was ripe, he actually packaged it up and mailed it to his granddaughters. Needless to say, it was a huge hit!
9. Life Lessons
If you’re a parent then you know how difficult it can be to teach your kids Life Lessons that help prepare them for adulthood. Things like Money Management, Sportsmanship, Dining Etiquette, or even Ballroom Dancing (we’ll admit to dancing with our grandkids!) can be hard to pack into daily life. Use your life-knowledge to share these things with your grandkids.
Plan ahead for annual visits or online chats and share some of your wisdom. It doesn’t have to be a formal lesson ~ just a little piece from your life.
10. Create Unique Traditions
When we were on vacation in Newfoundland visiting our granddaughter, I purchased this puffin (and a moose). Everywhere we went I took pictures of places we visited with either the puffin or the moose and sent them to our grandsons. When we got home they got the stuffies as a gift. It was a fun way to let them be a part of our trip.
Think of your own quirky traditions and let your grandkids participate, too.
Bonus Tip: Hold their hand, but let them lead the way
Your grandchildren are always telling you who they are and what interests them. Listen to them. Learn what interests them. Let them lead the way, and then find opportunities to share in their life.
Now, it’s your turn to share some of your best Tips for Grandparenting from a Distance!
Some great ideas! I’m just waiting fir grandchildren!!!!!
Great advise and ideas. Thank you.
Some great ideas, two of my Grandchildren live near by & the other two live in Holland, I sometimes feel guilty when I spend time with the English children.
We Skype Oliver regularly, when we last visited he was so excited to see us his Mum said we had the same status as his favourite TV characters as he was use to seeing us on the ‘screen’. A visit from Opa & Oma England is like Dora the Explorer jumping out of the f the TV to play!
I love the idea of growing things long distance & plan to set this up as soon as possible
What a fantastic post! Love some of your ideas. In saying that, I’ve been lucky to live just 200yards up the road from my three granddaughter’s and have thoroughly enjoyed every moment of our visits together. Sadly we are to move 4 hours away soon, which in some ways I’m looking forward to as the location is fabulous, but leaving my girls will be quite a struggle even though they are now 9, 13 and 14. However, we’re already making plans for what we will do together when we visit – just have to keep positive.
Write a short illustrated letter on the computer to have the parent print and read to the grandchild. My DD loves this. She wants it as a bedtime story over and over then colours the pictures.
It isn’t fancy at all, just things that are happening or that I’m thinking about with clipart usually that is related. Sometimes I add a picture of us. Or my cat.
Which reminds me … I need to do this soon.
You really struck a chord with me this morning. Our grandchildren live 14 time zones away right now. We try to Skype at least once a week, so their lunchtime is fairly late at night here. We read stories, do finger plays, do craft projects, etc. which is fun. The baby loves to blow me kisses and play peek-a-boo. Now that big brother is in school, it is harder to get a time that works. Amazon is such a help, though. The other morning I was awakened by the out of country phone call and a very excited 4 year old saying “Grammy, I love my scooter!! Thank you!!” which makes you want to melt. Luckily I can mail to the APO box at the same rate as US postage, but I really have tp plan ahead. Thanks for the great blog post. I think I am going to try to do some videos.
I’m sorry about your mom. I read your pie safe post but never commented.
My paternal grandfather lived in Florida so we would call him every Saturday night at 6pm. I have sweet memories of that. We also wrote each other letters and he slowly sent me his coin collection. I still have his letters and coins in my childhood bedroom.
Dad said when he went to clean out Pop Pop’s house, all that was left were my letters to him and family photographs, some clothes and the furniture. He had already cleaned out his own house, as if he knew he was about to die (he had a heart attack and it was actually the medicine that they gave him afterward that killed him, not the heart attack itself.)
PopPop would also visit for a week or two every summer and stay with us, which I absolutely loved.
My maternal grandparents lived an hour away. We saw each other every holiday and birthday, and my grandmother and I also wrote letters to each other. I still have her letters too. She would give me Russell Stover chocolates, and I clearly remember the Easter assortment as it had a coconut “nest” with jelly beans in it. If Russell Stover still sold that particular collection at Eastertime I would buy it every year, just for that memory! (I never ate the nest!) I check every year, but they don’t.
That’s lovely to hear a grandson’s perspective on this kind of relationship! It sounds like you have lots of warm and lovely memories of your grandparents, despite living at a distance.
Some great ideas, I just need the grandchildren!!
When my granddaughter was little, I shared jokes with her. She loved knock-knock jokes and she loved to try to tell me one that I had not already heard. Also, I bought a coloring book for her and the same one for me. We would both color a page and send it to each other. Funny how often we choose the same colors.
Lovely tips ! I have several long distance grandkids as well. It’s definitely a challenge but staying close is definitely possible and delightful. Thanks for a lovely visit.
Kaye
Oh my how the time slips away from each of us.it’s easy to say I’ll call later or tomorrow – sometimes the tomorrows become next week and next month. We have 12 grand children ranging from 4 to 25.
We’ve just returned from one Granddaughter’s wedding. Wasn’t it just yesterday that she was an 8 year old ? Didn’t she just graduate from high school ? . . . oh my. . . where does the time go? There comes a point in their activities even the parents have a hard time ‘getting face time’ and it’s harder from a distance!
In the beginning we are busy too ‘doing our own thing’; working, establishing our careers, making ends meet that sometimes we forget they are growing and soon will be adults. We only see them once a year and have tried various ways to stay in touch – I sew up things for them all the time. Nine of the twelve are young and live with in minutes of each other, so unless I have 9 gifts at the ready, I don’t mail out until everyone has something to open- but the shipping costs, whew!
Your ideas are unique and easy, no cost or very inexpensive – I LOVE THEM and will start a few traditions with our adorable cherubs! With such an age range there’s something for everyone!
Thanks so much for sharing!
These are great ideas! Thanks so much. I have 6 grandkids with 2 more on the way and they are all 6 and under so it has been a very busy time for our family. There will be 5 that live out of state, so keeping in touch is always a challenge. I just loved your ideas and look forward to any other thoughts you might have on grandparenting. I love that you are “seasoned” bc I am too and I like reading and learning from a “seasoned” blogger. Thanks! Keep up the good work.
Clare
I have 3 grandchildren who live across the country from us and I asked them to be my “pen pals.” (Of course, I had to explain what that was first!). I write them a little letter, sometimes include a cartoon from the Sunday paper, a riddle, or a funny picture, and always include a blank paper with a self-addressed stamped envelope so they can easily write back. It has been a fun way to stay in touch!
This is a wonderful idea. Thanks for sharing!
My son & wife moved away just 2 weeks ago with my 2 year old granddaughter. We had her every weekend and now my husband & I miss her so much. We’ve Skyped and FaceTime but she’s busy and has lots of distractions. We are both being positive but my heart aches.